Angel of Music

Okay, lately I've been staying up until around midnight (Costa Rica time) listening to Josh Groban. I've already run my ipod out of batteries so many times because the voice of this angel has been causing a sort of feverish obsession inside my soul. So, I decided that I might as well make a very special post about how thankful I am to have had this angel of music as my all-time favorite singer my entire life.
In this picture (Artwork from here on down is by NoonDarkly) Josh Groban is shown standing in between an angel and a demon. I like to think that he's fighting off the demons of untallented music (just picture Brittney Spears and Katy Perry) with his beautiful voice. There are many ways this picture can be interperated, but that's my own personal way.
Here, God is calling Josh Groban to heaven. This picture makes me want to do good so I can go to heaven when I die. Then, I could sit on a cloud and listen to Josh Groban serenade me forever. I really want to see him live in concert. His voice is the most beautiful I've ever heard.
One thing about Josh Groban is that he sings all of his happy songs in English, then all of the pain from his soul comes out in the songs that most people don't even understand. Recently, I was looking up the English lyrics to some of his songs, and I was surprised at how much pain he holds inside. I think this beautiful piece of artwork by NoonDarkly describes that agony he feels that comes through in his voice. In this picture, the "Angel of Music" is singing passionately, trying to end the war and bloodshed int he background. This picture, in particular, touches me. Excellent job, NoonDarkly, excellent job.
I'm so thankful I don't like most modern music like the hitlist (If you're a really big pop fan or rocker, you're going to get really offended by this, so you probably shouldn't read this, just warning you. I respect your opinions, but this is mine.) When I was a little girl, I remember when my Mom got her first Josh Groban CD, "Closer". She'd play it as I'd sit in the bathtub, and I loved it. I'd also listen to it with my sister, Hayley (who is now a hard-core Linkin Park fan), while we did crafts. That's why Josh Groban has a special place in my heart. Throughout the years, I lived off that CD, having nothing but those few songs on my ipod and nothing else.

Then, one day, at school, a girl in my class found out I was a Grobanite, so she gave me her copy of the CD "Josh Groban". For the longest time, I listened to that CD, drinking it into my soul and letting it fill me up. That's when, honestly, I began to get really into the opera and classical genres which, I realized, had always had a special place in my heart but had never had a chance to expand. I'd sit in my room for hours and listen to his voice while I read books. My sisters made fun of me, telling me I was a "nun" and that I was trying to be a "goody-good". This made me really sad, so I listened to most of my music alone. I didn't want them to make fun of Josh Groban's voice, or my hunger for opera and classical music that was barely even being fed as much as attempted to be destroyed.

I got the CD "Awake" from a girl I knew from church. She was a Grobanite as well, and she was also kind of rejected and made fun of in her family for being into his music. Since we understood each other, she had mercy on me by getting me a copy of "Awake" as a present. When she brought it to church, I was so happy. I went home and loaded the CD onto my computer. I became addicted to the "February Song" because February was the month I was born. I can honestly say that, from that moment on, I was a changed person.

My mom bought me Josh Groban's "Noël" when she went down to Denver. I was so happy I felt that I was going to pass out. I loved that CD because it was my favorite singer singing about Christ, my savior. Even though it was a CD meant for only one time of the year, I listened to it on late nights throughout every month and loved to hear an angel sing about how Christ was born.

I began to search for other people who sang in the "opera", "vocal", and "classical" genres. I found Andrea Bocelli, the blind opera singer who'd won an Italy-wide singing contest when he was only 14. When I got an Amazon Gift Card for my fourteenth birthday, I used it to buy his CD "The Best of Andrea Bocelli: Vivere". This CD was so good that I was inspired to get more of him. Later that year, I also got his CD "Andrea".

One night, when I was at my friend's house, a married woman named Kim, she was showing me her CDs. Most of them were people I wasn't very interested in like Christina Aguilera and Brittney Spears, but one CD in particular caught my eye. It was called "Il Divo". A lot of the clients who came to my family's fishing lodge had told me they were a group I'd really like if I was into the classical/operatic genre. I asked her if I could borrow the CD. She guffawed. "Well, you can just have it. I picked it up at the store and it's not my kind of music anyway. But, if you like it... keep it."

I downloaded the CD on my computer, then, Kim told me she needed to let another friend of hers borrow it before she could give it to me. Eventually, the CD was lost, and I didn't end up having a copy. So, I just kept it in my music holder where only I had to worry about it. I loved Il Divo. From song #1, I was totally enchanted. Only opera music could make me feel this way, so good that it sedated me into my own land of bliss. During the summer, as I worked, I caught some time to go on the internet, and I looked their group up. I found out they had three other CDs (not counting their Christmas or live CDs). I asked my Mom if there was any way I could work to earn the three CDs. She said she'd agree to buy them for me if I organized the CD inventory and catalogued it. I agreed, and, I'll let you know, it wasn't a very easy task. First of all, we had nearly five hundred CDs and the inventory would only fit three-hundred. So, I removed most of the music our clients would find distasteful (like my Dad's hard-core screaming rock/metal). After doing that, I counted the CDs and found there would be plenty of room for the remaining. So, I worked for four more hours, alphabetically organizing and cataloguing all the CDs onto a pamphlet. Though it took a long time, it was totally worth it in the end when I got to listen to Il Divo sing their hearts out in their CDs "Ancora", "La Promesa", and "Siempre".

Around November, I discovered Josh Groban had a new CD out. I told my Mom, and she got it for me when she went down to Denver. When she came back, she gave it to me, and I was so happy that I wanted to share the beautiful music of his newest CD, "Illuminations", with my sister, Hayley. As I took her down to my room to listen with me, Dad laughed and said "Yeah, make sure you keep your door shut while you listen to that. I don't want to hear it." This comment made me sad, but I pretended not to care. After all, opinions are opinions, right?

Hayley sat in my room and listened with me, her face curling with disgust. "Are you kidding me? Surely, Josh Groban is gay. I don't know any straight men who sing about love and rainbows as elaborately as that." I told her she didn't have to listen to the music anymore if she didn't want to, and sent her out of my room. I didn't want the music my heart loved to be made fun of.

The only one in the whole family that supported my obsession with opera/classical music was my Mom. She introduced me to the classical artists Kenny G (who I'd also heard when I was a baby), Yanni, and some of the classic composers such as Chopin and Beethoven. I'm so thankful my mom doesn't judge me like the rest of the family, even though she isn't as into my type of music as I am. However, my sisters and my Dad harassed me (and still do) on a daily basis about how much I love listening to that music. Meanwhile, when I'm riding in the car on the way to the store or something, I'm forced to listen to the hitlist, which I can honestly say, I loathe. I mean, you can't say that all the music that is played on that radio channel are the national hits. I mean, people who like country probably have a country favorite, people who like rock probably have a rock favorite, and even those who like opera/classical have a favorite. You can't just say pop is the universal music. Anyway, I spoke up one day. "Why do we listen to this? All they sing about is unloving sex, violence, and demean women. It's stupid."

My sisters practically chewed my head off after that one, so I just stayed silent. As I listened I felt like I would much rather have someone stabbing knives into my ear canal. I hated it. But, then again, everyone was happy except for me, and my dad (who wanted to change the channel to the classic rock station), but as long as everyone else was all right, I'd just shut up. I'd already been on my soapbox enough.

Well, tonight (Dec 28th, 2010), my family went out to dinner while in Costa Rica. During the night I decided to wear my black and blue Josh Groban t-shirt (which my Mom had bought me for my 11th birthday). As I sat with my family, waiting for our tacos to get made, Dad started ridiculing me about Josh Groban. I was quiet and took everything he said quietly. "The only reason why your school's internet marketing content filter didn't block joshgroban.com was because they thought 'Who would want to buy that crap anyway." he said, mad at me because the school's blocks on my school laptop computer had not allowed him to look at sites where he could buy electric guitars.

Finally, Mom cut in. "That's enough, Steve. I don't see why you hate her music so much. As a parent, you should be clapping your hands with joy. She has a great role model who's won platinums for being himself and singing like an angel. Your other daughters listen to gangsta rap, computerized pop, and heavy metal that screams the "f" word, but you only get on Taylor for listening to music you don't like because it's about the good things in life. Maybe I'm not as into it as she is, but you can keep your opinion to yourself. Don't hurt her feelings when she's listening to beautiful, loving music. I will not have it."

I was so thankful she said that. Dad didn't bring it up again that night. Even Hayley, who was sitting next to me, whispered into my ear "I'm sorry for making fun of Josh Groban. He really has a beautiful voice, and I was wrong to be so rude to you."

I'm listening to Josh Groban's song "So She Dances" right now, and I'm thankful my Mom stood up for me. I'm thankful she can understand how I feel, especially since she's really into the soundtracks from Broadway musicals, which no one else in the family other than my youngest sister, Kennedy, and I can understand. I can testify and say I'm thankful I didn't just follow the way of the world, but the way of my heart. I'm thankful for the support I have and I thank God that he created beautiful voices like those of Josh Groban, Andrea Bocelli, and Il Divo amid a chaos of Eminem, Lady Gaga, and Taylor Swift. I'm thankful I'm my own person and not just a wanna-be who will follow the crowd. I'm thankful I'm Taylor (this is starting to sound like a Thanksgiving speech, huh?). Well, to make a long thank you list short, I'm thankful I was able to put up with so much ridicule about music and still remain myself. Maybe now I won't get harassed about music. Maybe now, I can be at peace with my music while everyone in my family is at peace with theirs.

Thanks for reading. This post really came from my heart, and I had a lot to say. I didn't mean to offend anyone if I did. I realize everyone has their own opinions, but this was just the story of how I came to be who I am. And, I am proud to be me. No one can change me.

(The picture above is one of my favorite Josh Groban quotes. It's written in Italian, but in English, it says "In my thoughts this life is a desert of tears." Thanks for reading.)